yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
