the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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