i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
