I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
