shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
