...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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