so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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