i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
