You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
