Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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