The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
