Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize