This is not my ceiling
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Randomize
