Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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