Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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