he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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