naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
