I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
