Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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