Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
