Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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