I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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