wrigley field is MILF paradise
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
