That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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