I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
