No stitches, just platelets and will power
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
