actually, I'm a sock model
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
