Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
