I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She even gives head with a lisp.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
