Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
