I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
