Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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