My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I just cut my nipple shaving
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
