I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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