yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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