I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
