So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
How does it feel to date your dad?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
