I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
