Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
