So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
