you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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