Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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