Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i think i have two assholes
ttyl tear gas
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I would fuck him just for his dog
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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