Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
