Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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