she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
