I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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