North Korea, Best Korea!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
