1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
