A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
