yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
