Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
