Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
