I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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