hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
