i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
